Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
