I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
