i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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