went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
