i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
