I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
