dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
