i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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