So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
