All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
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Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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