East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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