called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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