Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
