Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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