I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i think i just lost a toe
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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