I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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