Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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