youre lurking in front of me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I checked into jail on foursquare
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
