What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
