Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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