ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Everclear isn't food dammit
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
