whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
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I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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