she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
