I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize