Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
