it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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