Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So much rum. So many feels.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
