My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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