did you get engaged???
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize