this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
