the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize