Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
