He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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