i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
