Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize