I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
