my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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