some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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