she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
