Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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