Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
