Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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