fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
