Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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