So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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