Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize