I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do vagina's smell?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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