The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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