There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
