I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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