Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
