I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
