69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
