Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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