I hope mine doesn't look like that
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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