there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
