508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
