god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
