It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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