literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
